It's My Cadillac (Got That Bass)

My little girl gets her Escalade from her PawPaw and Susu.

Gene Chizik? Really?

Does Auburn realize that they just lessened the strength of schedule for every SEC team for years to come in one stupid ass act?

Well, Fuck Me Gently With A Chainsaw!!!

That could've gone better.

So long, Tommy!

Seven figure buyout, bitches!!!

This here’s a story about Tommy T and Suzie Poo

Two young lovers with nothing better to do

Than sit around the barn, duck hunt, and not recruit

And here is what happened when they decided to cut loose

They headed over to, ooh, Camden, R-Kansas

That’s when they really pissed off the Barn's masses

Tommy T shot a mallard while others were outrecruiting their asses

Suzie Poo said take the money and run

Go on take the money and run

Go on take the money and run

Go on take the money and run

Go on take the money and run

Nicky Saban is a coach down in T-town

You know he knows just exactly how to lay a smackdown

He aint gonna let that douche escape justice

He makes his living off the Alabama people’s taxes

Suzie Poo, whoa, whoa, she slipped away

Tommy T caught up to her the very next day

They got the money, hey you know they got away

They headed to deposit the checks and laughing all the way and singing

Go on take the money and run

Go on take the money and run

Go on take the money and run

Go on take the money and run

Go on take the money and run

Go on take the money and run

Go on take the money and run

If you can't beat them (and you can't), maim them (and you tried)

Cheating cow fuckers!

Was your slide from state supremacy enjoyable?

Get on before you get... oh wait! You did just get shitted on!

Got 36? We do!!!
Hell, do you have any? No?!?

Listen to it for the next 365!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Alabama Fans, We Are All Put On Notice!

Fast Forward To 2:45 For Nick Saban's Ultimatum To The Crimson Tide Nation. Priceless

The King Reclaims "Stick Red"

Bama Rolls Over The Corn Pups

27-21

Barack (G)Obama?

HAHAHAHA! SUCKERS!!!

Since 1960, Alabama has won 6 AP-awarded National Championships. Let's attempt to spot the similarity among all of them:

• 1961. President at the time: John F. Kennedy (Democrat)
• 1964. President: Lyndon Johnson (Democrat)
• 1965. President: Lyndon Johnson (Democrat)
• 1978. President: Jimmy Carter (Democrat)
• 1979. President: Jimmy Carter (Democrat)
• 1992. President: Bill Clinton (Democrat)

So, in summary, a vote for change was quite possibly a vote for the same old thing.

Run Fat Boy Run!

Phillip Fulmer Steps Down At Tutorsee!!!

Rat in a drain ditch, caught on a limb, you know better but I know him.
Like I told you, what I said, Steal your face right off your head.
Now he's gone, now he's gone,
Lord he's gone, he's gone.
Like a steam locomotive, rollin' down the track
He's gone, gone, nothin's gonna bring him back...He's gone.
Nine mile skid on a ten mile ride, hot as a pistol but cool inside.
Cat on a tin roof, dogs in a pile,
Nothin' left to do but smile, smile, smile!!!!
Now he's gone, now he's gone
Lord he's gone, he's gone.
Like a steam locomotive, rollin' down the track
He's gone, gone, nothin's gonna bring him back...He's gone.
Goin' where the wind don't blow so strange,
Maybe off on some high cold mountain chain.
Lost one round but the price wasn't anything,
A knife in the back and more of the same.
Same old, rat in a drain ditch, caught on a limb,
You know better but I know him.
Like I told you, what I said, Steal your face right off your head.
Now he's gone, now he's gone
Lord he's gone, he's gone.
Like a steam locomotive, rollin' down the track
He's gone, gone, nothin's gonna bring him back...He's gone.
Ooh, nothin's gonna bring him back.

"... and you can bet your last money, it's all gonna be a stone gas, honey! I'm Don Cornelius, and as always in parting, we wish you love, peace and soul, you snitch bitch!"

"Sharing the things we know and love with those of our kind"

NUMBER 1 WITH A BULLET AND DAMN PROUD OF THEM!

Now the guys have to focus on the putting points on the board against the Chinese Bandits defense. That in itself is no easy task. However, I'm pretty sure Bama's defense will set the offense up with a short field. The running backs and the O line will do the rest.

The three headed monster will keep John Parker Wilson from having to win the game by himself.

SET THE TRAP EARLY!

Don't let the crowd stay in this game. Even though this is a 2:30 kickoff, the LSU fans have been hyping this since Saban came to Bama. Jumping on their team early can only help when it comes to crowd noise. Rammer Jammer is always sweeter echoing through an empty visitor's stadium.

BEWARE OF LESLIE AKA RANDALL FLAGG OF THE CORN DOG NATION

You have to stay on your toes with this guy. He's very unorthodox. Fake punts on 4th and long, onside kicks to open a game, and running the Notre Dame box are all within the realm of possibilities with this guy. A big Bama lead early in Baton Rouge will cause this guy to attempt some screwy shit. Just be ready and aware of anything. This includes, but is not limited to, a resurrection of Billy Cannon (that is, if he's even dead.)

Halloween 2008

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The "Hair Of The Dog That Bit You" Theory

My wife suggested that to ease the pain I was feeling I should take a nip of the evil water. Going by the differences of the paces we both set last and the flammability of the substances we consumed, my wife would pluck an adorable follicle from this guy:

... while I would grab two hand fulls of the mangled mane of this vicious sonofabitch:

Who in their right mind would do that?

After last night, I'm seriously reconsidering my stance on Prohibition.

HATEHATEHATEHATEHATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bama vs. Tennessee? Those orange clad bitches are going to feel it!

I hate your dog.

I'm an animal lover but your mutt sucks balls, not just licks them. How ferocious can a blue tick hound ever be? When it comes to affection, dogs are the sluts of the pet world. He licks his balls and ass on the sideline and then one of your cheerleaders poses with him for the cameras where he licks her face. Here's an idea for some hillbilly hilarity: Cut out the middle man, or middle mutt, and just have your cheerleader give the fucking dog a rim job and hummer on national TV. A rusty trombone for Smokey anyone?

I hate your colors

Orange is the bastard child of crimson and canary (which your coach sings like, but more on that later). The old joke is that you can wear it to the game on Saturday…and you can wear it hunting on Sunday…and you can wear it to work on Monday when you’re picking up garbage at the roadside!

Po Po Loves Themselves A Good Snitch

I hate your coach

You sorry, fat, no good, kitty kicking, orphan taunting, nun sucker punching, Salvation Army kettle stealing, homeless shelter burning, Special Olympic fixing and then betting, motherfucker!!! May a flea infestation of the balls you haven't seen in 20 years occur and your arms be too short to scratch them. A thousand curses upon your fork and spoon, you fat fuck!

So in summary:

• Tennessee's cheerleaders are on the verge of beastiality in order to put 106,000 country fried steak-built asses in the seats.
• Tennessee's colors look like seven miles of bad road. Fucking ugly for as far as you can see.
• Tennessee's coach should have been thrown away and they just christen the placenta.

Oh, and...

DAVEY CROCKETT WAS A FUCKING PUSSY!

Petrino's Dick umblemished by Hot Tubs' Burns

Breaking News:

Auburn Blows

Tony Franklin Is Out At Auburn!

Auburn's Spread Eagle Offense?

IT SUUUCKS!

Tasteless Joke of The Week

What we have here is failure to resuscitate.

Paul Newman passes away at 83. He was an activist, a bitching actor, a husband of 50 years, and a race car driver. That, my friends, is a full life.

... and in a gay bar somewhere on South Beach

"Saban!"

For the love of every prayed to deity, please be on PTI tomorrow. Your anguish, as you have to talk about Bama, will taste like sweet, sweet redemption for Nick Saban. Perhaps the producers could arrange "5 Good Minutes" with the coach.

BLACKOUT? BETTER GET THE CRACK OUT!

• Georgia scored 30 for the game.
• Bama scored 31 by the half.

Using simple logic: The game was over at halftime.

Saban rubs Richt's nose in it!

Bad Dog! No No!

41-30

It's Gameday!

Even famous Georgia alum Ryan Seacrest thinks that's a little TOO GAY!

Forecast?

A Beautiful Day For A Funeral. Dress Appropriately.

It's Gameday!

“A single breaker may recede; but the tide is coming in”

Thomas Babington Macaulay

Unbelievable Performance

John Parker Wilson looked good. Nick Walker caught everything in sight. The defense was meeting where ever the ball was heading.

Blunder and Frightened rushed for only 20 yards. Cullen Harper ran for his life for the 18 minutes they had the ball.

Maybe Wake Forest is the cream of the ACC crop.

It Is Finally Here!

Baseball is what we were. Football is what we have become. - MARY MCGRORY

Getting Paid

An Oklahoma state employee was mistakenly paid $850,000 for longevity pay. The check was meant to be $850 for this individual.

My guess is that the BIG check was intended for these state "employees".